Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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