Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
