your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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