East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
