Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize