i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i believe in u and ur pee
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