If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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