Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize