Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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