i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
