ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize