Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
