Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
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I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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