Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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