well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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