clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i drank out of a bidet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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