You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
