a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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