Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z

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(614): View more from Ohio

So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

...yea

(614): View more from Ohio

She's valid.

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(614): So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence? (1-614): ...yea (614): She's valid. http://tfl.nu/5j37

Replies (3) Good night (3185) Bad night (428)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I wanna be on tlc

(905): View more from Toronto

Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.

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(416): I wanna be on tlc (905): Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless. http://tfl.nu/gr13

Replies (17) Good night (4164) Bad night (497)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.

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(614): I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help. http://tfl.nu/rixg

Replies (20) Good night (2479) Bad night (4972) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

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(770): All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard. http://tfl.nu/f3jg

Replies (3) Good night (2635) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.

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(407): You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear. http://tfl.nu/lhty

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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(+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm

Replies (20) Good night (4699) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now

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(612): New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now http://tfl.nu/fnbr

Replies (11) Good night (1798) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.

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(763): After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer. http://tfl.nu/6vsc

Replies (9) Good night (1111) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance

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(773): Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance http://tfl.nu/swas

Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

You would never do this sober.

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(207): Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good. (617): You would never do this sober. http://tfl.nu/h01i

Replies (9) Good night (1191) Bad night (393)
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(845): View more from New York

You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey

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(845): You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey http://tfl.nu/3j62

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(516): View more from New York

New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete

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(516): New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete http://tfl.nu/uf35

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(313): View more from Michigan

Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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(313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk

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(513): View more from Ohio

You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

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(513): You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when. http://tfl.nu/o3c9

Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (144)

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