There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party