Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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