The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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