D3 body, D1 cock
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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