I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
