I think I am morally bankrupt
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize