i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
