Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
