Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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