I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
