He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
