Four minutes until I can fart!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize