You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
