Got a toothbrush?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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