He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
