Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
