i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
