I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
