I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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