if you like me you must not know who I am
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
