I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize