no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
