I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
