My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
