Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
