The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
