ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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