Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
