is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
