I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
