im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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