she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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