The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
