Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
