wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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