it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
