i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
