i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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