I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
