dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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