That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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