peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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