I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
