I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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