therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
wow bdsm is so cute
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