He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
