And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
